Sweet Security

Ah, the sweet assurances of Social Security. Hope you’ve been receiving your periodical Social Security statements too. SS is simply splendid.

Here’s a glimpse of the heart of its splendor.
(An excerpt from the Social Security statement, with emphasis added in italics)

You and your family may be eligible for valuable benefits:

When you die, your family may be eligible
To receive survivors benefits.

Social Security may help you if you become
disabled—even at a young age.

A young person who has worked and paid
Social Security taxes in as few as two years
can be eligible for disability benefits.

Social Security credits you earn move with you
from job to job throughout your career.

Isn’t it just great—that it (the credit) stays with you throughout your working life, or basically until you’re just about ready to hit the sack, literally and permanently. Oh, but you’ve been working out at the gym, so being strong and healthy will allow you to enjoy the fruits of your labor. And your family may benefit too. But only when you’re dead. However, if you become disabled now, you may get assistance, even if you’re young. Now, why do I feel like this is starting to sound more and more sinister than beneficial… Maybe, it’s just my neurosis.